Make A Man Out Of You
by Peoplepersonsof DooM
Summary: Godot decides to have a chat of sorts with the other men of Phoenix Wright. Silly Oneshot. Complete.


This is just my stupid (and first) one shot. Crackish, because I just love crack. Oh and I messed up a Mulan song. I hope Disney won't sue me.

* * *

It was an unusual day at the DA office. Not to say the other days were normal. Everyone was still running around with paperwork and coffee, hanging around water coolers, and begging for raises. But today it was requested that certain people come for a chat with a certain prosecutor. About what, no one knew. And in any case forget what, the question should be where. They waited in the..DA waiting room.

"Where is prosecutor Godot?" asked an extremely irked Edgeworth. "I could be doing much more important things than lingering around here!"

"Yeah, like purchasing a different color suit." said everyone's favorite defense attorney chuckling.

"...Like you're a fashion expert, Wright. You're the one wearing a cheap blue suit." replied Edgeworth glaring daggers at Phoenix.

"Hey, its not cheap I had to buy this at Macy's!"

"Can't we all get along, pal?" asked Mr. scruffy detective.

The pair glared at Gumshoe.

Gumshoe swallowed hard and began to sweat bullets.

"Dude, once they start arguing there's no way to stop them." Larry scratched the back of his head.

"Ah, thanks for telling me, pal."

"But, I hope this dude shows up soon. I have a date to get ready for!" said Larry doing a thumbs up.

How did he manage to get dates, when he looked as desperate as Gumshoe? "I just hope he doesn't cut my salary, its low enough as it is..." said Gumshoe looking anxious.

"Edgeworth, all I'm saying is that the color is a bit bright, that's all."

"I'll have you know that magenta is -"

_Let's get down to business  
Get the job done  
Did they send me daughters  
When I asked for sons? _

Godot finally made his appearance, with cup of coffee in hand. And he was singing. Yes singing.

_You're the saddest bunch  
I ever met  
But you can bet  
Before we're through  
Mister, I'll make a man  
out of you _

The guys stood in silence. One this was weird, and two they had to admit Godot had a great singing voice.

_Tranquil as a forest  
But on fire within  
Once you find your center_

_you are sure to win  
You're a spineless, pale  
pathetic lot_

Godot stared at all of them. They really were sad looking. But Trite was the worst. Godot threw his hot cup of coffee at him, and the spikes yelped in pain. Yay for second degree burns.

_  
And you haven't got a clue  
Somehow I'll make a man  
out of you  
_

"_This song is gonna be my death..." _Edgeworth sighed.

"_Say good bye to those who knew me..." _ The burns were starting to mess up his face. Feenie wouldn't be recognizable soon..

"_Man I wish that I was as cool as him." _Larry found an idol...

"_He's left me out of breath."_ Gumshoe was in awe.

"_Hope I don't see cups of coffee.." _He glanced around searching for incoming coffee mugs.

"_Now I should go work out at the gym." _He had to be buff just like his idol.

_(Be a man)  
We must be swift as  
the coursing river  
(Be a man)  
With all the force  
of a great typhoon  
(Be a man)  
With all the strength  
of a raging fire  
Mysterious as the  
dark side of the moon  
_

"What..what is he talking about?" asked Larry looking confused.

"No idea, Harry prosecutor Godot is just mysterious."

"Huh." He still didn't have his name right, after three years. Oh, well.

_Time is racing toward us  
till trial arrives  
Heed my every order  
and you might survive  
You're unsuited for  
the rage of war  
So pack up, go home  
you're through  
How could I make a man  
out of you?  
_

"I don't need to be here. I'm already a man!"

Phoenix giggled. "Are you sure about that, Edgeworth?"

"Are you implying otherwise?" asked Edgey anger escalating.

"Your outfit implies otherwise." said Nick through small bursts of laughter.

"Grrrr..."

_(Be a man)  
We must be swift as  
the coursing river  
(Be a man)  
With all the force  
of a great typhoon  
(Be a man)  
With all the strength  
of a raging fire  
Mysterious as the  
dark side of the moon  
_

Edgeworth snapped. Thus began the altercation between him and Phoenix. Edgeworth removed his cravat and was somehow strangling the defense attorney with it. Gumshoe was going to try and end it, but remembered what Larry said. Together they watched the fight unfold.

_(Be a man)  
We must be swift as  
the coursing river  
(Be a man)  
With all the force  
of a great typhoon  
(Be a man)  
With all the strength  
of a raging fire  
Mysterious as the  
dark side of the moon_

Godot ended his song and saw the chaos and confusion in the room. Trite and frills were fighting causing objects and what not to fall over...and the scruffy detective and the loser stood there too afraid to act, just watching. This would take at least another five cups of coffee to handle this situation...

He shook his head, took a sip of his coffee, and chucked it at the back of Phoenix's head. It splashed all over the goody two shoes face and managed to splash on Edgeworth's hands causing him to release his grasp.

Then Godot turned to Larry and Gumshoe. "You, your salary is being cut in half and you, you're just a loser."

The two stood in shock faces full of pain and agony.

"You consider yourselves men? More like dogs who never get their day." He stood facing everyone with yet another cup of coffee in hand. That got their attention.

"Look, Godot I'll have you know that I am a man." said Edgeworth wiping coffee off of his hands.

"Frills, you aren't a man. Closer than the others, but not there yet. You conduct yourself as a mouse..always running from the cat."

"Excuse me?"

"You flee from your problems, you never tackle them head on!" He turned to Phoenix. "And you Trite, you start things you can't finish and always depend on someone else."

Phoenix using Edgeworth's cravat to wipe the beverage off his face, opened his mouth to protest, but stopped dead in his tracks well aware of what would happen next if he spoke.

"And you two let people trample all over you and don't defend yourselves." Larry and Gumshoe shuffled their feet and looked down at the floor.

"Well how are you a 'man'?" sneered Edgeworth.

Godot slammed his cup on a nearby table. "I'll say it in one word or less. Confidence." He smirked slightly. "This is the one thing none of you possess."

"Ok, that's true, but what are you gonna, like do about it?" asked Larry.

Godot took a long sip of coffee and chuckled. "What I am going to do about it? Absolutely nothing."

Everyone stood dumbstruck.

"Then what was the point...?"

"Don't jump to conclusions. I wasn't doing anything about it because, let's face it you wouldn't be able to handle what I've been through...so I have others to help you."

On cue six women walked in. Leading in was Franziska von Karma and following was Maya and Pearl Fey, Angel Starr, Wendy Oldbag , and Lana and Ema Skye.

"These ladies can do so much more for you than I can." said Godot smirking devilishly.

Franziska cracked her whip, Maya and Pearl clenched their fists with fierce determination, the Skye sisters had cold looks to them, Angel was passing out squid ring lunch boxes, and Oldbag was rambling on about the good old days.

The boys looked on in horror, petrified of what awaited them... (well everyone besides Larry who said "Yes, purty girls!")

"I-I'm not afraid! I'll prove that I am a man!" said Edgeworth.

And then Oldbag approached him.

"OHH Edgey poo! It's been too long..." she said eyes sparkling placing a hand on his chest.

Edgeworth paled and lost all dignity and pride he had. "I take it back...I'm just a scared boy. A scared boy..."

Godot grinned. That was just his fourth cup of coffee and progress was being made already...


End file.
